The future is Perfect. The future is Imperfect. Whether you want it to be or not it's Perfectly Imperfect.
We're always planning for the future. Every action has a reaction. Every action affects what we'll become, who we are, what we do down the line.
When you're five years old, cheek pinching Aunt Alice never asks what you're playing with in the sandbox. Instead she says, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Your answer is usually along the lines of astronaut, Cinderella, or whatever it is your parents do.
When you're in high school you plan for how you'll see your sweetheart of the month come college. You plan what you'll tell your parents when you discover Boone's Farm at the bonfire. You research prom dresses in October and study hard for ACTs so you can attend your dream college.
In college you discover new dreams and talents. You take a C- in Intro to Chem and realize that maybe Rocket Science wasn't for you. Turns out there is no majoring in Princess. Ok. New direction. New plan. Life is now heading towards a stable and steady field like business or education. Not exactly what you wanted at first, but you worked for it. No matter where you landed it was meant to be all along.
Then you get your first real job and a cool apartment. You want to marry Kenny Chesney. You dream of Being Teacher of the Year or whatever is top in your chosen field. Then you marry a dairy farmer who your friends say looks like the great KC if he's in a hat, you stand on your head and shut one eye. Your job is now working sub pay at the local public school.
However, life is good. Not the future you planned per say. Not the dreams you had at five years old, but a good happy life all along. You are grateful. You can't ask for anything more.
I think with our Little Angel I spent the last month living in the moment; not exactly planning for the future. There's nothing wrong with living in the moment, however, but there comes a time when the future, no matter how scary must become reality.
And so it goes. Back to planning. Something I was too scared to do this past month. This coming from the girl who buys clearance rack wrapping paper on January 3rd because Christmas will be here again before you know it.
While this isn't exactly the future I planned for, not exactly the future I saw coming, it's our future nonetheless. Little Angel will be here before I know it and her parents need to stay strong and do the best for her no mater the outcome.
I've been living in one moment for too long. I've been suspended in worry and doctors appointments. What about the future for Little Angel? It's coming and just because I don't want to move forward, doesn't mean it's not coming full speed ahead.
Yesterday, David and I put the crib together. We need the call the carpenter to finish the basement bedrooms so Little Angel has a room of her own. I didn't think twice when my two best friends talked me into a "Miracle" onesie with angel wings on the back.
This week expect me to paint the baby room while it's still cool. The carseat is coming out of the box. I'll keep playing with the stroller until it opens with one hand. We'll be signing up for childbirth classes, something I was afraid to do last week when everyone else's baby futures seemed so perfect. I'll be researching the best cloth diapers, the easiest bottles and the cheapest high calorie formula on my next rainy day.
I need to plan. I need to look forward to the future. Little Angel is still our baby. Little Angel is still arriving and there's no reason David and I can't enjoy making plans for the future.
Perfectly, Imperfect. Not what was planned or imagined all along but still meant to be.