Monday, July 13, 2009

Perfectly Imperfect.

The future is Perfect. The future is Imperfect. Whether you want it to be or not it's Perfectly Imperfect.

We're always planning for the future. Every action has a reaction. Every action affects what we'll become, who we are, what we do down the line.

When you're five years old, cheek pinching Aunt Alice never asks what you're playing with in the sandbox. Instead she says, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Your answer is usually along the lines of astronaut, Cinderella, or whatever it is your parents do.

When you're in high school you plan for how you'll see your sweetheart of the month come college. You plan what you'll tell your parents when you discover Boone's Farm at the bonfire. You research prom dresses in October and study hard for ACTs so you can attend your dream college.

In college you discover new dreams and talents. You take a C- in Intro to Chem and realize that maybe Rocket Science wasn't for you. Turns out there is no majoring in Princess. Ok. New direction. New plan. Life is now heading towards a stable and steady field like business or education. Not exactly what you wanted at first, but you worked for it. No matter where you landed it was meant to be all along.

Then you get your first real job and a cool apartment. You want to marry Kenny Chesney. You dream of Being Teacher of the Year or whatever is top in your chosen field. Then you marry a dairy farmer who your friends say looks like the great KC if he's in a hat, you stand on your head and shut one eye. Your job is now working sub pay at the local public school.

However, life is good. Not the future you planned per say. Not the dreams you had at five years old, but a good happy life all along. You are grateful. You can't ask for anything more.

I think with our Little Angel I spent the last month living in the moment; not exactly planning for the future. There's nothing wrong with living in the moment, however, but there comes a time when the future, no matter how scary must become reality.

And so it goes. Back to planning. Something I was too scared to do this past month. This coming from the girl who buys clearance rack wrapping paper on January 3rd because Christmas will be here again before you know it.

While this isn't exactly the future I planned for, not exactly the future I saw coming, it's our future nonetheless. Little Angel will be here before I know it and her parents need to stay strong and do the best for her no mater the outcome.

I've been living in one moment for too long. I've been suspended in worry and doctors appointments. What about the future for Little Angel? It's coming and just because I don't want to move forward, doesn't mean it's not coming full speed ahead.

Yesterday, David and I put the crib together. We need the call the carpenter to finish the basement bedrooms so Little Angel has a room of her own. I didn't think twice when my two best friends talked me into a "Miracle" onesie with angel wings on the back.

This week expect me to paint the baby room while it's still cool. The carseat is coming out of the box. I'll keep playing with the stroller until it opens with one hand. We'll be signing up for childbirth classes, something I was afraid to do last week when everyone else's baby futures seemed so perfect. I'll be researching the best cloth diapers, the easiest bottles and the cheapest high calorie formula on my next rainy day.

I need to plan. I need to look forward to the future. Little Angel is still our baby. Little Angel is still arriving and there's no reason David and I can't enjoy making plans for the future.

Perfectly, Imperfect. Not what was planned or imagined all along but still meant to be.


  1. dairy girl, Yes yes yes.... you need to plan and you need to grow together as new parents, because that is what you are and because that is what God wants you to do. If God didn't want you to, than your Baby Angel would not be surviving today. So......... enjoy and plan and love. I was the one who posted about Holland. You get it....... In this post you talk about all your young dreams and how perfect it all was going to be, then reality shows up. Things become different (you ended up on a dairy farm with a Kenny Chesney look alike instead of the real one ( you go girl))but it is all so GOOD right??? And this becomes your new dream. Like planning to go to Italy and getting off in Holland instead. The old saying bloom where you are planted......It is so true. But don't stop there GROW, THRIVE and it will produce the fruits the Lord has for you and your family. I love following your journey for many reasons but one being I love that you are sharing this journey so that someone in the same place that you are at is getting a special blessing from you. You are how God uses people to bless other people so GOD BLESS YOU...... Robin

  2. Hi Dairygirl. I googled "praying for dairygirl" because I didn't know why everyone had this posted on Now I know.

    I am NOT A DOCTOR OR NURSE OF ANY KIND, but it sounds like your baby may have periventricular heterotopia. My husband has this condition and I have done a lot of research on it. It can cause epilepsy, which it did with my husband. My husband had bilateral club feet when he was born among other physical defects and the doctors told his mother at birth that he would not even be able to even communicate. Well now, after surgeries, he has somewhat normal feet (one is larger than the other and two toes overlap, but they work fine!), and a drooping lip (like Sylvester Stalone or Harry Conick, Jr.). That's all as far as his physical abnormalities. We know now that these thing were caused by his Periventricular Heterotopia. But he is now a perfectly capable and functioning adult man. He was diagnosed only recently, because the seizures did not show up until last year, but he was born with this condition. Here is a website that I found describing some of the symptoms of your baby (i.e. cardiac defects, clubfeet, dysmorphic features):

    I think you should check it out.

    Again, I am NOT a doctor. I just wanted to share this information with you. If you are interested in finding out more, feel free to email me at or perhaps consider contacting a neurologist.

    I hope that everything goes well with your baby and that she is born healthy and well and I wish you luck in all your endeavors. I hope this information was helpful.

  3. Looking back to when I first met you, I thought you were the perfect innovative teaching style, control of your classroom and respect of the students. Then I met David and I thought how perfect you two were for each other - the engagement, building your new home, a beautiful wedding, working side by side with the man of your dreams... God has blessed you in so many ways and He will continue to bless you both. You will be wonderful parents! Put your trust in Him and hope for a miracle!

    I hope you are keeping a daily journal (besides this blog) so that someday you can write a book about it. I love the title "When October Falls". Sharing your journey is truly a blessing, especially to others who may be having similar problems. I knew you were brilliant but I was unaware of your awesome writing talent. Mrs. Stoffel would be impressed!

    I pray for you and David and Little Angel every day. The power of prayer and positive thinking - stay strong, plan to your hearts content and enjoy this miracle of pregnancy. Look to the future with faith and hope!
    Love and prayers... Judy